How do we know we love the brethren?
Orientation
We often mistake brotherly love for mere sentiment or outward acts, missing its foundation in recognizing God's acceptance of others.
- The problem is not a lack of affection, but a failure to see fellow believers as God sees them.
- This confusion can lead to division and a subtle reliance on our own judgments rather than God's verdict.
- The story of Cain shows how hatred springs from rejecting God's way of accepting people.
We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death. (1 John 3:14)
— 1 John 3:14
Clarification
Loving the brethren is not about approving someone's performance, but about acknowledging their standing before God through faith alone.
- True love recognizes a fellow believer as a child of God based solely on their confession of faith in Christ.
- This stands in direct opposition to the 'way of Cain,' which insists on works righteousness and rejects God's acceptance by faith.
- The 'antichrist' spirit is marked by this refusal to acknowledge those God has received.
In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother. (1 John 3:10)
— 1 John 3:10
Structure
Biblical love for the brethren is structured on the logic of justification by faith, which defines God's family and exposes counterfeit belonging.
- God's family is constituted by faith in Christ, not by adherence to a standard of works.
- This divine logic produces love; rejecting it produces the hatred seen in Cain and the antichrists.
- Apostolic fellowship and communal support depend on this shared recognition of justification by faith.
Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not. (1 John 3:1)
— 1 John 3:1
Weight-Bearing Prose
The core assertion is that love for the brethren is the necessary recognition of another believer’s justification by faith alone. This is not an ethical add-on but the inevitable result of believing the Gospel itself. If I know I am accepted by God based on Christ’s work and not my own, I cannot deny that same standing to another who shares that faith. To do so is to functionally deny the Gospel I profess.
Pauline categories are decisive here. Justification by faith (Romans 3:28) is the means by which one becomes a ‘son of God’ (Galatians 3:26). Therefore, to recognize a fellow believer is to affirm God’s verdict of ‘righteous’ over them. The counter-position is works righteousness, which insists on a standard of performance for acceptance. This was Cain’s error—rejecting God’s way of accepting Abel’s sacrifice of blood (pointing to faith) in favor of his own works. This same spirit manifests as hatred for the brethren, a mark of the ‘antichrist’ (1 John 2:18-19) who belongs to the world and does not recognize God’s children.
This hatred is not abstract. It shuts off compassion and fellowship, as seen in Diotrophes who rejected apostolic messengers and cast out brethren (3 John 1:9-10), endangering the communal support vital during persecution. The division is theological at root: a rejection of the apostolic message of grace.
Integration
Your love for the brethren is not a test you must pass, but a reality to recognize in Christ. It flows from seeing what God has done. He has declared righteous everyone who believes in His Son. When you see another believer, you are seeing someone God has fully accepted. Your recognition of them is simply agreeing with God’s own verdict.
This assurance anchors you. You are not called to manufacture a feeling, but to rest in the finished work that makes you and your brother part of the same family. The pressure is off. Christ has secured everything. Your standing before God is fixed, and so is theirs. This is the solid ground for love—not your effort, but His accomplishment. Let this truth settle you. Your identity as a child of God, and your recognition of every other believer as God’s child, is all founded on Christ alone. There is no hierarchy here, only the shared sonship granted by grace through faith.