Does Finding Fulfillment in God’s Love Mean We Should Reject Earthly Marriage?
Orientation
Many Christians feel tension between enjoying God's gift of marriage and finding their ultimate satisfaction in Christ alone.
- The idea that spiritual maturity means denying earthly desires like marriage is a subtle form of asceticism.
- God created marriage and called it good; viewing it as a distraction misunderstands His purpose.
- Earthly marriage is a picture, but confusing the picture with the reality creates unnecessary guilt or suspicion.
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Genesis 2:18)
— Genesis 2:18
Clarification
Marriage is not a spiritual compromise but a God-given picture meant to point us to a greater reality.
- The 'shadow' of earthly marriage finds its substance in the union of Christ and the Church.
- Enjoying marriage does not compete with loving Christ; one illustrates the other.
- The problem arises when we make the picture the ultimate goal or treat it with religious suspicion.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:32)
— Ephesians 5:32
Structure
The biblical pattern from Genesis reveals marriage as a type of Christ's creative work to secure His bride, the Church.
- Adam's loneliness and deep sleep prefigure Christ's death, which was not punitive but creative.
- Eve was built from Adam's side, just as the Church is built from Christ's finished work (John 12:24).
- Paul unveils this 'great mystery': our union with Christ is as inseparable as a man with his own flesh.
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (Ephesians 5:30)
— Ephesians 5:30
Weight-Bearing Prose
The core assertion is that marriage is a divine typology, not a spiritual competitor. In Pauline terms, earthly marriage is a ‘shadow’ (Colossians 2:17) whose ‘body’ is Christ. The Genesis account establishes the pattern: Adam’s declared incompleteness (’not good…alone’) points to Christ’s purpose to have a counterpart. Adam’s deep sleep—a death-like state unrelated to sin—enables the creative building of Eve from his side. Paul explicitly connects this to the mystery of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:30-32). This means the Church is not a covenant partner but the product of Christ’s death and resurrection. We are ‘bone of his bones, and flesh of his flesh’—a union of shared life, not a negotiated agreement. Therefore, to denigrate the earthly picture is to misunderstand the heavenly reality it displays. The gift and its Giver are not in conflict. The picture exists to point to the Person, Christ, who is our life and our true fulfillment.
Integration
Rest here: your desire for companionship and the goodness you find in marriage are not threats to your spiritual life. They are reflections of it. Christ is the reality; marriage is a gracious, God-authored picture meant to draw your heart to Him. There is no hierarchy where loving your spouse means loving Christ less. In fact, seeing Christ in the pattern liberates you to enjoy the gift without making it your god. Your assurance and identity are forever secured in being ’of his flesh, and of his bones’—built from His side, united to Him. This is your resting place. Christ is your life, your satisfaction, and the substance behind every good shadow. In Him, you are complete, and from that completeness, you can freely receive and cherish the pictures He gives.